SPEAKING YOUR TRUTH
I have recently been presented with a beautiful learning opportunity for personal growth. Of course as usual we seem to gain our greatest learnings through those we love so I speak about this with much love and gratitude and more clarity as to why people come into our lives and how we create our own reality.
On the subject of speaking your truth it is one that can have a wide variety of opinions or judgement on “What is speaking your truth”? and how it is to be approached. I guess it’s a trend in personal development at present that to empower oneself it is important that you learn to speak your Truth. It is also claimed to be important to not let people railroad you, speak down or untoward you or speak seeming untruths to you without you being able to defend yourself. Whilst we do attempt in vain to not let this happen the truth is that it does.
There is another premise too that it is your right to speak up and not to fulfil this right will eventually disable you or seemingly render you helpless which over time may lead to low self-esteem or depression. So for you to regain or retain your ‘power’ to speak your Truth is essential for your own personal well-being. This is one line of thought I am happy to explore however I am also going to take you down another path in which speaking your truth may not involve language skills or a particular form of action but it is done at the level of Spirit with an outcome that can often be more empowering in a sense that it will leave you with a far greater sense of Peace within. It is achieved at the level of being able to “trust the teacher within”. It is an inward resolution and not (but can be if guided to be) an external resolution. It is actually a walk of trust to take this path. It requires a different thought system which can go against all your current beliefs. It requires inner work. It’s about asking yourself “Do I want to be right or do I want to be happy”? This approach is more about wanting to be happy and not right. The need to be right often comes with a series of consequences after the event has taken place. What felt empowering initially can after a short time leave you feeling not so much disempowered but maybe a little regretful or embarrassed. However, your pride is such a strong force in your psyche that you will come up with much justification and validation as to why it was so important for you to have your say simply because it was true for you. I want to express here that to Speak your Truth at times is an absolute must and an essential aspect of being authentic. You will know if you have achieved this successfully as you will be left with a sense of peace and tranquillity. You may have some early apprehension but the lingering feeling will be more peaceful for you. You will also have a sense that healing has taken place for you and others concerned.
Firstly, let’s look at What is ‘Speaking Your Truth”? v What It Isn’t.
Speaking your Truth is about speaking the truth of who you really are. Not to speak from your Ego self but from your Authentic Self or your Divine Self. Remembering too that what could be true for you may not necessarily be your Truth. To be discerning in all situations will help you distinguish which is which. It can be confusing. It takes awareness and it requires you to observe your own behaviour and the actions and words of others. When speaking your Truth you are taking responsibility for your own thoughts, feelings and emotions. You are coming from a place of ’cause’ and not ‘effect’. You are using “I” statements. You are expressing YOUR feelings. You are saying “I feel” not “You make me feel”. You are being clear and direct. You are asking for what you would prefer or want – what you would like to happen or how you wish to be treated. You are making suggestions as to how you can support the interaction or the situation. It’s all about YOU. You are owning your message.
If you are not doing this be aware you may be in a state of blame, shame, manipulation, intimidation and or humiliation. If you are criticizing and judging or being condescending in any way you are offering your opinion and it is only your perception of the situation, it may not actually be true, particularly for the person you are interacting with. If you are using “You” statements you may be making accusations again based on how the situation is making you feel. In reality what you say may be happening. The other person may have done something to hurt or violate you. When you are in this state of Being you will be coming from your Ego self as you will have created an environment of attack and defence because your Ego will fight to the death to be right. You may also tend to overreact or exaggerate to support your own statements for justification and validation. Your perception will therefore be your projection. However, it is only from your thoughts that you projected initially that every situation is mirrored back to you for re-interpretation. You then perceive it to be a certain way based on your beliefs, values and experiences and from this you make a decision to respond or react or even over react.
If you want resolution out of these situations it is vitally important to honour oneself whilst considering others and be aware of how you are delivering your truth or receiving someone else’s. It is a learned skill to do this. It does take practice. Sometimes it may take the form of being a challenging experience and one can often feel quite vulnerable. Be aware and respectful as to how you may be received. Choose an appropriate time. Ask that a support person (independent) be there if necessary. Choose the appropriate environment. Honour your own time and energy. Make it about you. Refrain from any condescending comments. Look back after the event and critique yourself and check in with how you are feeling. Your emotions are a great indicator and can be your best advisor.
If you are on the receiving end of someone seemingly ‘Speaking their Truth’ to you it is important you honour their thoughts and feelings but it is not necessary you buy into their story. Acknowledge what is applicable for you at the time (ie. That you listened or heard their grievance) and either outwardly or inwardly show gratitude to them. As difficult as this may seem it is the first step toward a successful outcome. If it is a personal situation be aware of your emotions as they will be your guide here. If it is a work situation your most preferred option is to stay with the facts and not persoanlize things so that if necessary change can take place with ease and efficiency. Look at again whether you want to be right or you want to be happy. It is not necessary you respond immediately and you may need to give their comments some thought in order for a peaceful resolution to occur. If you find yourself being defensive, or attacking or criticising, or judging your Ego has been activated. It is often a difficult experience to be on the receiving end of a situation as this however requires a level of maturity for both parties to achieve a suitable outcome.It may mean that people go their separate ways or it may mean that they come together in a much more honest and respectful union. Either way will be perfect for each others growth.
However, now let me introduce you to a new line of thought. It may seem a little fluffy. It may go against your current thought system and it may challenge you. It may feel for you that it would be like taking the road less travelled and that’s because it is. It is my experience that it is a fast track to to releasing the fear involved in Speaking your truth and it will help reveal your authentic or divine self. It is a learned path and does require you to become the observer or the witness of your life situations everytime bar none. It requires inner work and self responsibility and it requires that you are familiar with how you create the very events, situations and people in your life so that you can learn more about Self, Self-love and remember the Truth of who you really are.
If your belief is “Nobody can hurt me”. If you really feel in your heart that regardless of what anybody says or does that nobody or nothing that occurs can hurt you, your response to these situations will be decidedly different. If your belief is also that you are not alone and always supported by a Trusted Source (God, Divine Inspiration, The Universe) and that all that happens in your life is part of a system of Divine Order you will begin to be more grateful for lessons that come your way. Life wont necessarily give you what you want but it will give you what you need. So when the opportunity for you to either speak your Truth or to receive someone else doing same it will be presented to you with less fear around the event and the outcome simply because of your attitude. As stated previously it is a learned path and it is a process to follow. It will provide you with the most wonderful opportunity for Forgiveness of yourself and of another. You see, if you understand and accept that every one who crosses your path is simply a mirror of yourself – you are in them and they are in you – you are One – you are no longer fueled by the thought system of the Ego. You cannot be a victim of your own circumstances. So, when a situation or event takes place you will be coming from a place of Love and not Fear. Your initial reaction is be to become the observer or witness. Look at it (the situation)and offer it up or ‘hand it over’ to this trusted source for re-interpretation. Accept that we don’t always know our own best interests – only the Ego thinks we do and Ask for right-mindedness in this situation. Your guidance may be to speak further however it may also be to do nothing but to Thank them and offer love and forgiveness to yourself and to the other person. You see, if someone has seemingly hurt you and you recognize this as a cry for love – in other words they have to run you down to make themselves feel important or more empowered – exacerbating the situation may not be the solution to a peaceful resolution. If you understand that you were responsible for creating this situation in your life in the first place and it is simply your projection being mirrored back to you, you are in a much stronger position to take responsibility and get the learning and for forgiveness to take place. If you were to own this message and ask “What is this for”? Herein lies the learning which can only further enhance your spiritual and personal growth. If you were to further understand that ‘you are never upset for the reasons you think you are” i.e. It’s never what happened or ‘the story’ that has upset you and if you were to go into your feelings and truly be with them you will find that it may be that you felt intimidated or manipulated or shameful. It is only when you go within and face the ‘core’ reason for your upset and acknowledge it by bringing it into the light that genuine authentic healing can take place. Listen to your guidance. It may be to speak your Truth. Ask for the words to support you when doing this and use the skills and techniques that I have provided above. It has been my experience to have attempted both ways of seemingly speaking my truth from my Ego Self (the “I” I think I am – yukkie) and from my authentic Self (the “I am”) through Spirit. Inner Peace is much more attainable when you come from the latter. When you remember that you are a powerful creative human being (as God/Divine Inspiration created you) you will no longer buy into the negative thoughts and feelings as this is your Ego attempting to hijack you to seemingly keep you safe and supposedly empowered but it is a trick to keep you powerless in the long term. You learn that your so called reality is simply an illusion. You find yourself attempting to bring truth to these illusions when in actual fact the road to Inner Peace is to bring your illusions to Truth.
You see, everything happens to us for a reason (sometimes this is beyond logical reasoning and this requires a certain level of Trust). However, it is so that we can learn to love ourselves and to love others. When we begin to understand this, when we begin to live this, we then begin to trust more. When we trust more we forgive more. When we forgive more we come to trust (cycle) more and We become more grateful and compassionate. We come more into alignment with the Truth of who we really are. Your default system is now to Speak your Truth from a place of Love and not from a place of Fear. Hence, We become the Act of Love, no longer the Cry for Love and we learn to love more. We become love because In Truth We Are Love.