Either or Thinking
There is a distinction to make when you are experiencing and either/or thinking process. It is this. Are you only coming from two reference points for what you are experiencing? It may manifest as- I do not have choice around a certain state – I either have to be in control or I am out of control, or I have to be separate or doing connection. So notice when it is either one or the other. When this is happening there will be conflict inside and that will probably limit you in the world and limit your decisions and choices.
These states are so limiting in our emotional behaviour and limit our actions that arise from this state.It is important to become aware of when you have it wired up as an either/or. Be willing to look outside the square and imagine looking at your situation expansively with other options and choices. Begin to witness yourself and observe who you are being and what you are doing when coming from this state. These feelings may not necessarily make you feel comfortable. Look at your beliefs and patterns around how you create your experiences and states of mind or patterns of thinking. Become aware of how we sometimes make it right to suit us (even when its not really suiting us at all) and therefore we so easily make others wrong. Also become aware of other people having these states of mind as well. Sometimes it’s easier to see stuff in others long before we are able to acknowledge and accept it within ourselves.
Our healing will take place when we can look at this and really face it and work with someone to help us unlock the unconscious patterns and write our new script and point of reference..
Eg.- you may have it wired up that you have to feel safe so there is only a safe state for you to experience and an unsafe state – all things fall into this category – meaning people, places, jobs, feelings work etc. As a result you are often in control but then feel frustrated that you cannot get some things that you want but continue to be driven by this state and frame you have made.
For us to really prosper and grow we need to start to look at the art of “Simultaneous Thinking”. This concept offers us more choices, it is more expansive, maybe not as controlled. It does involve you connecting your mind-body-spirit and trusting your intuition. At first, you may not feel safe if someone suggests a different way to you. You may go into victim (either physically/mentally or both). Practice receiving another way or opinion and also feel how it would feel if it actually worked even if it initially sounded like the impossible. It’s about re-wiring our thinking. It will take time and feel uncomfortable to start with. It’s also about ASKING to be shown another way and then being open to hear, see or experience this new found learning. It can shift you out of your either/or state – it brings hope. It’s a whole body experience.
As a result of this new found awareness regarding Either/Or thinking you are able to take action with a real sense of choice and your outcome is more likely to support you fully in your growth.