Are you or do you know a PERFECTIONIST?

The word ‘Perfect’ as defined in the Concise Macquarie Dictionary – in a state of complete excellence without blemish or defect; faultless or ‘the highest degree of excellence’.

Ask yourself – Is this me? – the king or queen of strive and drive. Do your high expectations of yourself and others often lead to anger, resentment, disappointment, criticism and judgementalism?

Perfectionists main focus is on being right and typically they tend to react to what they perceive as being wrong. Other words associated with this personality trait are Controlling, Dominant, Self-righteous, Anger, Low Self Worth (love). When one does not feel good enough or worthy enough you are able to mask this belief through dominant and sometimes bullying behaviour.

Research tell us that what you disapprove of within yourself becomes the focal point when criticising and controlling others. Beware of your “Judge in Action”.

Be aware of the mirror in your own life when you are in full flight judging others. Watch for your physical and verbal reactions when life isn’t the way you want it.

Perfectionists live by a set of standards and rules and assume that everybody has the same rules. Their negative emotions come to the surface when these expectations are not met.

Are your beliefs and rules about life and what the behaviour of others should be like limiting you and your growth?

What are you getting out of the need to control? What’s the payoff for you? Recognition, Attention, exhaustion, Inflated Ego!!

What if everything was already perfect just the way it is right now. What if there were no right or wrongs. What if some things weren’t meant to be finished. What if people weren’t meant to be changed to suit your ideals .What if events were meant to happen.

If life was always perfect when would we ever learn and grow from our experiences. When would we embrace the differences in people. When would we get the learnings and the fun from making mistakes, the serendipitous results from being flexible, the “do it different/better” next time, the efforlessness, the flow of life energy!

How dull life would be if it all went according to plan. Or maybe it is going according to plan. Just not our plan. Just not meeting the expectations of our plan.

Learning the art of allowing and receiving is a great lesson for all of us. The freedom and flow of the life force that comes from this gives you more peace, gratitude and fulfilment that you can imagine.

So, What is the right way. Your way, My way or the Highway? What is right for you may not be right for others.

Remember, life may not always give you what you WANT but it will always give you what you NEED.

Copyright: Angie Quinn

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